3 Reasons Why You want to be Honest with Him

How many of us can really say that we have never lied before? It is probably a lie if someone says so. Lying to others can make you feel better temporarily but when lies need to be covered up by another lie, you will realize that at the end of the day, you are actually lying to make yourself believe that the lie is a truth. However, a lie can never become a fact. When lie is being revealed, you find yourself being torn into pieces. Therefore, whenever you feel like lying to your loved one, just remember the following reasons and remind yourself why you want to be honest with him.

1) You want “trust” to exist in your relationship.

Would you trust someone who lied to you before? If he lies more than once, would you believe him again? You may want to say that he will never find out that you are lying but what IF he does find out? Wouldn’t it be too late to cover up your lies? It is not worth putting your relationship at risk, is it? When trust is defeated by repeated lies, the relationship could break down faster than you can imagine. Be honest wtih him and be truthful to yourself, trust can keep your relationship grows.

2) You want a long term relationship.

Being honest with your loved one can help you to maintain a good long term relationship. When you are really in love with someone, you would want to share everything of yours with him. No doubt, some people prefer to have privacy and not telling their partners everything. You still can keep your privacy by being honest with him. Keeping something from each other can cause doubts on the relationship. When doubts increase, he would feel insecure in the relationship and this is not a good sign.

3) You want to avoid misunderstandings.

You want him to know what is in your mind and what you really think about certain things. If you choose not to tell him directly, he might never know what you think or want. Sometimes, people lie in order to avoid misunderstandings. However, this is not a good way to resolve problems. If you lie for the sake to avoid misunderstandings, when it was being revealed, he would think that you are just trying to cover it up. Therefore, the best is to be honest with him since the beginning. This can save you a lot of troubles in future.

It is not difficult to be honest with your loved one even you need to reveal the past of yourself to him. Sometimes, your honesty might cause him unhappy or even angry but then, this only lasts for a while. Subsequently, he will appreciate you being truthful to him. In return, he will do the same to you. Certainly, you would want him to have faith in you and believe your words. Just remember, being honest is not as difficult as you think.

3 Reasons Why You want to be Honest with Him

3 Ways to Overcome Possessiveness

Where are you now? What are you doing? Who are you with? Do you always ask your boyfriend these three questions when he is not with you? Generally speaking, it is alright to do so as long as you are not doing this many times within an hour. The worse scenario is you stop him from having any female friends, order him to delete or not to add any female friends in social networking such as facebook, MySpace or Twitter etc. The worst part is probably when you want him to appear in front of you anytime you want and if he does not, he will be scolded badly. Such possessive behavior can ruin the relationship sooner or later and hence, let’s learn to overcome it.

1) Remember that love is to make one happy

If asking anyone of us to actually love our boyfriends without expecting for return, it is highly impossible. We all hope our boyfriends love us as much as we do and wish that he loves you and you only. Therefore, giving without expecting for a return is difficult. However, the least thing you can do is to make him happy if you really love him. For example, when you are being very possessive over him, he will not be happy at all. He could feel tired, pressured and unhappy when you are acting unreasonably. A relationship should bring happiness but not sadness to couples. Hence, try your best to change such character that can ruin a happy relationship.

2) He is yours only when he thinks so.

Some people just cannot help but being possessive over their partners. They think that their partners belong to them and start treating their partners like their belongings. Remember, no matter how much he loves you, he is an individual with a separate mindset from you. We are not able to plant our thoughts in them even we might be able to influence them day by day. Therefore, if he thinks he is yours, he will try his best to please you without you declaring your rights over him. To the contrary, if he thinks he deserves to have his own way of living, the more possessive you are over him, the more he wants to run away from you.

3) Be considerate

If he treats you the way you treat him in terms of possessiveness, are you happy with it? Oh yes, there is minority of people do not mind their partners being possessive over themselves. They describe such possessiveness as loving and concern. However, it is doubtful that you can bear with it over long period of time especially when the level of possessiveness is very high. Therefore, if you do not like the feeling of being controlled 24/7 then be considerate towards your boyfriend and treat him the way you prefer to be treated.

If you desire for a long term relationship, you need to maintain a healthy relationship. Both parties need to feel comfortable and happy to be together. If your boyfriend feels tired while in a relationship with you, it will not last. Being possessive does neither good to you nor your partner because when he cannot fulfill any of your unreasonable requests, you then become emotional and mad. Therefore, learn to overcome possessiveness in order to improve the relationship.

3 Ways to Overcome Possessiveness

The Basic Requirement in a Relationship – Appreciate

How many times have you heard this word from others? Do you always hear people advising you, “Appreciate the one beside you, and appreciate whatever you have now”? You may hear this very often but are you doing it now and then? Recently there was a broken up relationship happened to my friend and this word suddenly come across my mind, I believe one of the very important and basic requirements in relationship is that we all need to learn to appreciate the one with you and appreciate what you have now.

Very often, when couples step into the “comfort zone”, both parties start to take each other for granted or asking for more. At the first three months of the relationship, everything was fine and each party is willing to please each other in every way. Three months later, the guy might cool down a bit and thought that he has entered into a “steady stage” and hence, he does lesser than he used to do to please the girl. Then, the girl starts to ask for more or ask the boyfriend to at least maintain how he used to be.

It is possible that some guys can really maintain the heat all the time and willing to please the girl every second and every minute. For example, text her every 5 minutes and call her once every few hours and the girl needs not do a thing to please the guy. Yes, is possible but the percentage of having such a guy on earth is probably 1%. Such situation can probably maintain for a short period of time but if you expect it to last forever, you can probably find this guy from the love novel you read or from those love movies you watch.

When the guy does not do and please you as he used to, it does not mean that he loves you lesser. Normally, the girl will say that guy is just giving excuse to be lazy in a relationship. However, have you ever asked yourself how much had you done for him? Do you please him once in a while or take the initiative to call or text him when he did not do so? Relationship is maintained when both sides are willing to put in efforts and time. If there is only one party contributing to the relationship and another keeps asking for more but do nothing for the relationship, the keep contributing party will ultimately feels relentless.

Therefore, why not start learning to appreciate? Why wait till problems occur and come to the point whereby both parties are hurt deeply then only you thought of making a change? In fact, if you really make a change by then is not considered late, at least you do. However, many do not think the same and think that the guys are the one who should keep giving.

In this modern era, we all ask for equal rights for women and men. If you really want to be treated equally, aren’t you supposed to contribute a bit in relationship too? If you think that there are no equal rights between men and women, then back to the time whereby woman stays at home and man works outside and listens to his words. Be fair to yourself and to your man too. The same theory applies to both parties as in if the guy does not appreciate you at all; you certainly deserve someone better than him. At least, if you have really done your part, you will have no regrets in future.

The Basic Requirement in a Relationship – Appreciate

How to let Bygones be Bygones?

It is never easy to let go a relationship that you have put in so much hopes and efforts in it. However, when it has really become a past tense and you know that there is no turning back, you need to be determined to let bygones be bygones. I personally went through the process of letting bygones be bygones in my past relationship and now, I am glad that both I and my ex remain as friends but not enemies or strangers. So, how to do that?

1) Face the Reality

Yes, you have broken up with him, and this is already a fact. No matter who is the one who suggested the break up, you two are now no more than friends (if not worse than that). If you want to reconcile with him, then go ahead and do what you want. Hesitation will only worsen the situation as it drags you to suffer the pain longer than you can imagine. However, if you know that he will not go back to you, then face the reality! Do not be afraid to tell others that you are now single and available and anything happened among two of you has become pure past tense.

2) Be Confident

What is wrong with a break up? Does it mean you are losing the whole world when you break up with him? Does it mean he is the only great man on earth you can find? Or does it mean you do not deserve another man who will love you from the bottom of his heart? Certainly NO. You definitely still have many people around you who care and love you and willing to share happiness and sadness with you at all times. Besides, if you think that he is the only great man on earth, you are not only underestimating the rest of the guys but also yourself. If your ex does not know how to appreciate you, you definitely deserve someone better than him and why not give yourself and others a chance?

3) No need to force yourself

If you realised that you are missing your ex-boyfriend day and night then keep yourself busy. Focus at whatever you are doing except thinking of him. Focus at works and when with friends, ask your friends to talk about something else instead of talking about the break up topic. Avoid drinking like a mad woman or alcoholic as it will not cure your sadness but it only worsen your feeling. You do not need to force yourself to forget about him as it is very normal that you will think about the past when the break up just happened. Just give yourself some time to let go the past and stand up from there again.

4) Think Positively

Always think positively. First of all, tell yourself, being single is nothing, you can now spend more time doing something that you might not be able to do when you are dating. Such as what? Such as spending more time with your friends, knowing more new great men, and focus on your study or career? Anything that can make you happier, go do it! Recharge yourself and enjoy being single. Furthermore, you can also join some group activities where you can meet new friends, for example, join the fitness centre or cooking classes etc. When you think positively, you will no longer be depressed and you can move on happily.

Who knows, when he sees that you are such an attractive lady than ever, he will change his mind and beg for your forgiveness? Certainly, it is now up to you whether to accept him or not. Though this article is to share with you on how you can let bygones be bygones, it does not stop you from being together with him again. However, just do not put hope on him when it has become a bygone. Let it flows naturally that cause you no pain at all. Be happy-go-lucky, you will find yourself surrounded by many admirers and good friends in no time.

How to let Bygones be Bygones?

Just 3 Steps to make Long Distance Relationship work

Are you in love with someone and hoping that he is by your side every moment? However, this cannot be realised at the moment because both of you are having a long distance relationship? Many long distance relationships do not work out at the end is because either or both parties cannot sustain the loneliness of not having a companion beside him/her. They prefer someone who can take physical care of them and therefore, they give up the long distance relationship and with someone who is physically beside them. Now, you are in a long distance relationship and you really hope that it can last. How can you do it? Just follow the three simple steps below.

Firstly, treat him as your one and only. Well, you might say, “of course I am treating him as my one and only or else I would not have gone into a long distance relationship.” If that is so, maintain it. Many couples say and presume that each other is their one and only until they realise they cannot stand the loneliness and eager for someone to be beside them. By that time, they will also know that their so called “one and only” can be replaced easily by another “one and only”. Therefore, this so called “one and only” is not really treated like that.

When you really know that he is irreplaceable, your relationship with him will be as tough as the diamond. No one can influence you and nothing can stop you from being with him. You know that no matter how difficult it is to be in a long distance relationship, you two can overcome the obstacles eventually. When you have such strong thought in mind, I can assure you that long distance relationship is not a problem for you at all.

Secondly, keep in touch with him everyday. Undeniably speaking, you cannot have physical touch with him everyday in a long distance relationship but that does not mean that you cannot talk to him everyday. Even the time zones can be different when both of you are not in the same country, you can definitely find the time that suit both of you to contact each other. When you have the heart to maintain it, you will not care about the different time zone.

Communicating with him everyday is very important because both of you have been deprived of the chance to be physically together everyday. Without constant communication, both parties cannot feel each other presence at all. By talking with him everyday, both of you can feel that you two have each other in daily lives. Even though not seeing face to face, you still can feel that he is part of your life. In fact, you can choose to see him face to face through webcam. We are now living in the 21st century which enables us to contact each other easily. Therefore, you have no excuse to not keep in touch with him everyday.

Finally, be understanding. Many disputes happen in long distance relationship are because either or neither party are being considerate. They only think for themselves and never put themselves into their partners’ shoes to think on their behalf. In any type of relationship, couples can get frustrated due to dissatisfaction of each other’s performance in relationship. However, it is not easy for couples in long distance relationship to cheer their partners up. Due to the distance, your boyfriend finds it difficult to see you and to hold your hand and apologise or sweet talk to you.

Therefore, you need to have extra patience towards this relationship and you have to be more understanding towards such situation. Avoid not answering his phone calls after you are mad with him. Probably one or two times are acceptable but if he has kept calling you a couple of times, at least you message him and let him know that you will not answer his phone now. Nevertheless, it is advisable to solve the problem with him than to ignore it. After all, he has taken the effort to call you. If you want him to appear in front of you immediately, you really need to consider if you are suitable to be in a long distance relationship.

In conclusion, long distance relationship is not easy to maintain but it is not impossible. When you really treat him as your one and only, willing to take time to keep in touch with him everyday, and most importantly, be considerate towards him, not only your long distance relationship can be maintained, but it can also grow stronger than those who can see each other physically. All the best and good luck to you.

Just 3 Steps to make Long Distance Relationship work

5 Steps to Get Your Ex-boyfriend Back

Just broke up in a relationship? Did your ex-boyfriend say he cannot stand your attitude, behaviour or characters and that was why he wanted a break up? You used to think that you can live happily without him until the day comes. You never know how important he is to you till he left you? If your answers are yes, it means that you are now in a mystery and you realise that you want him back but do not know what to do.

1) Find out the cause

First of all, you must ask yourself, “Why did he leave me?” “Have I really upset him all these while?” “Am I not a good girlfriend?” For sure, you are the one who need to find out the answers to these questions. Do not expect the answers to drop from the sky. If you really do not know the answers, you have an alternative option and that is to ask your ex-boyfriend (see the next step).

2) Ask him what is wrong

Your ex-boyfriend could be honest with you by telling you what has gone wrong. If he does, lucky you as you know the answers directly without guessing on your own. Then, you can start solving the problems. However, if your ex-boyfriend gives you answers like, “We just not meant to be together” or “You can find someone better than me.” You can forget about digging the answers from him. It is either he is too upset with you or he just wants you to leave him alone. If that is his intention, you better do what he desires or else he dislikes you even more.

3) Respect and love yourself

Avoid begging or crying for forgiveness, he might pity you but he will not turn back to you. When the man breaks up with you, your tears will only annoy him. Avoid drinking day and night like a child who does not know how to take care of herself. This will only ruin your health but not working anywhere to getting his heart back. Worse still, he could be glad that he has left a woman who does not know how to love herself.

4) Get back your confidence

Try to recall why did he fall in love with you in the first place? Was it because you looked depressed or was it because you used to be a confident woman who attracts the attention of men on street? Dress up yourself nicely and make yourself prettier than before. Have fun with friends and build up your confidence slowly. Then, you will realise not only him coming back to you, but also see that new men attracted by you.

5) Be friend with him

Avoid showing him that you are eager to get him back even this is your real desire. You need to give him some time to forgive and forget that you hurt him before. Try to concern him like a normal friend through msn, yahoo messenger etc. Just talk to him like a normal good friend, make him share with you of his thoughts and views. Listen to him and understand him. When he finds comfortable chatting with you, he will miss the time together with you.

Follow these tips step by step and let me emphasise again, never show that you are desperate to get him back. Hold back your emotion feeling and convince yourself that time will prove that you are the best girlfriend for him. If you have some bad habits, make sure you have changed these habits before you want him to fall for you again. It takes time but it worths your time if you really love him.

5 Steps to Get Your Ex-boyfriend Back

5 Tips to Overcome the Insecure Feeling

Do you become alert when you see your boyfriend talking happily with another woman around your age? Do you always check your boyfriend’s mobile’s text messages and calls record? Do you always want to follow him anywhere when he says he is going out with friends? If you are answering yes to all these questions, you need to ask yourself if you are feeling insecure with your boyfriend. When such feeling grows stronger, it can kill a good relationship. Let say, when your boyfriend has always been honest with you but due to your insecure feeling, you do not trust him and this can damage your relationship. Nonetheless, there are ways to overcome it. See below.

1) Be Confident with Yourself

Being confident with yourself is very important and you always need to bear this in mind. Without confidence, you will doubt about yourself. When you are being doubtful, you lost your identity. You will forget how great a woman you are but keep focusing on how good your man is and think that anyone better than you are trying to grab him from you. To avoid falling into this trap, you must constantly remind yourself that you are a great woman who deserves to be loved and hence, even if he leaves you, it is him who suffer from the lost but not you.

2)Trust him

To most women, this is easy to say but difficult to do. Many even say if men can be trusted, pigs can climb trees. See, this shows how difficult it is for women to trust their men. Nevertheless, you still need to. When trust does not exist in your relationship, what for to be in a relationship? There will be many arguments between both of you if you choose not to trust your man. Therefore, try your best to believe him.

3)Communication

Whenever you have something in mind related to him, you shall talk to him. Avoid questioning him like interrogating and avoid raising your voice during the communication. Communication is important to keep the relationship goes on smoothly. You do not want to guess as you could guess wrongly; you do not want to judge him as it could be your wrong perception. Therefore, the best is to communicate with him. Understand him better and be a good listener at the same time.

4)Keep yourself occupied

When you are busy, you will not have time to bother about the insecure feeling you have towards him. Hang out with friends occasionally and enjoy yourself even he is not around. Remember, before you met him, you have been on your own. You were good before you met him so avoid becoming depressed after being with him.

5)Be independent.

Sometimes, the insecure feeling arises is due to too much reliance put on him. When you depend on him solely, you will become very anxious of his every action. When he cares you lesser, you will start thinking otherwise. The more you rely on him, the more you cannot let go the feeling of insecure. To the contrary, if you can be independent, the insecure feeling will disappear automatically. This is because you are fully aware that you can still have a good life even without him

It could be due to various reasons that cause you to feel insecure with your man. Whatever reason it is, it is your responsibility to overcome it. Find the root that cause such insecure feeling within you towards him and try to solve it by following the above mentioned tips. If you still feel insecure when you are with him after adopting the 5 tips, you should really ask yourself, if he is really your Mr.Right.

5 Tips to Overcome the Insecure Feeling