As suggested by the title, this is an article that shares with you on how you can avoid “bad” arguments in relationships. Generally speaking, majority of the people prefer fewer arguments in relationship. It is highly possible to have fewer arguments but to avoid arguments at all, is highly impossible and if such example exists, I believe that one of the parties has not voiced out his/her view during communication. Nevertheless, arguments are not always bad. Some couples get closer together after arguments made and these are not bad one. Now, what can you to avoid bad arguments in relationship?
First of all, you need to understand what bad arguments are. Bad arguments often started off by losing your emotional control. Either or both parties raise their voice to each other and neither party is actually paying attention to what another says. They just want to shout out their thoughts to each other. Basically, this is nothing different from saying, “I don’t want to listen to any of your words, I just want you to listen to me and follow what I say”. When the couples are frustrated and lose control over their emotional feeling, they are no longer rational. Whatever words blurted out could be hurtful to the other party or not serving any purpose to come up to a settlement.
After you know what trigger bad arguments, you then focus on what you can do when you think or feel that you can barely control your emotional feeling during arguments. First, keep your mouth shut for a few seconds in order to hold back those words that you are going to shout, or scold or yell out. Secondly, take a deep breath, think quickly and speak slowly. Thirdly, tell your partner that both of you are not in a calm mode to discuss anything further. Suggest that both parties take a break from each other, such as not to speak for an hour or two to think of the problem and the way to solve.
Before you start the discussion again, set a rule that neither of you can shout at each other during the discussion. If anyone breaks the rule, discussion halts. Finally, speak gently to each other just like how you speak to your partner when you just started dating him/her. Only when both parties can speak nicer to each other, the hearts get closer together. Always remind yourself that you are there to solve the problem but not to make it worse. Having this mindset, your discussion with your partner will work out smoothly.
If neither of you can come up to a workable settlement at the end, you then need to know whether you want to tolerate with his view so to make things work. However, if you insist on your point of view and refuse to tolerate with him, you shall take some time off from him (probably a few days to a week maximum) to think through the problems between both of you. Do you still want to continue the relationship if such issue continues to happen? Always face the problems, do not ignore them. Ignore the problems can only make things worse. Therefore, face it and solve it is the way to a happy relationship.
After you know what trigger bad arguments, you then focus on what you can do when you think or feel that you can barely control your emotional feeling during arguments. First, keep your mouth shut for a few seconds in order to hold back those words that you are going to shout, or scold or yell out. Secondly, take a deep breath, think quickly and speak slowly. Thirdly, tell your partner that both of you are not in a calm mode to discuss anything further. Suggest that both parties take a break from each other, such as not to speak for an hour or two to think of the problem and the way to solve.
Before you start the discussion again, set a rule that neither of you can shout at each other during the discussion. If anyone breaks the rule, discussion halts. Finally, speak gently to each other just like how you speak to your partner when you just started dating him/her. Only when both parties can speak nicer to each other, the hearts get closer together. Always remind yourself that you are there to solve the problem but not to make it worse. Having this mindset, your discussion with your partner will work out smoothly.
If neither of you can come up to a workable settlement at the end, you then need to know whether you want to tolerate with his view so to make things work. However, if you insist on your point of view and refuse to tolerate with him, you shall take some time off from him (probably a few days to a week maximum) to think through the problems between both of you. Do you still want to continue the relationship if such issue continues to happen? Always face the problems, do not ignore them. Ignore the problems can only make things worse. Therefore, face it and solve it is the way to a happy relationship.
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